Finding a rhythm for 2021

I quit making resolutions probably about the same time I had a baby. Life becomes rather unpredictable when you have kids and I was done with setting lofty goals that made me feel inadequate rather than empowered.

Over the last few years, I sometimes come up with a word or a phrase for the year that relates to some areas of my life I would like to improve. Last year, my phrase for the year was ‘lighten up.’ It encompassed the ideals of living more joyfully by streamlining mundane tasks, spending more time investing in friendships, having more fun and yes, rather predictably, losing a little weight. And then COVID-19 hit us.  

It was hard to lighten up in 2020 and, since I still feel like I’m learning how to do this, I didn’t want to come up with a phrase or word for the year. But it came to me regardless – rhythm.

I don’t know what it entails for me exactly, but 'rhythm' is slowly it is revealing its meaning to me, like a song that starts as a one-liner or a tune that somehow manages to feel expansive.  

What I do know is that I want to bring rhythm into my life in a way that helps routines flow peacefully, rather than restrict happiness, coordinating with husband and son’s rhythms so that we can make our family life a song together. It’s about letting of perfectionism and allowing for more creativity and collaboration.

Oh, and there is a musical element. I have a musical child and he’s helped me realise that I want to sing again. I used to sing and dance a lot – I used to make up songs as a kid and teen, but I was super secretive about it. I sang on my own when no one could hear me. Now I am never alone. My kid and husband at home, we live in a complex where we hear our neighbours and they can hear us and, even on the odd occasion that I go for a walk by myself, there are too many people walking or running for me to feel alone enough. But my son has started making up little songs, singing little bits here in there in this wonderfully uninhibited way of a confident 4-year-old and it has inspired me. It reminds me of myself, or the self I could’ve been had I been braver and more extroverted.

I'm not saying I'm going enter Idols or anything - I don't feel a need to be heard like that, but rather to hear myself. I've been living my life so quietly, so safely, working as an editor and editing myself to the point of forgetting how to write, make art, make a difference - make too much noise. I've also been allowing other people's opinions to silence me, stepping to the side rather than into the spotlight. But since I was retrenched and with all this social isolation, I've had time to think and dream, maybe I can learn to be braver. Maybe that's what my son is teaching me. Maybe that’s what 2021 will teach me.  

What are you hoping for in 2021?  

P.S. you might like to read What can we learn from lockdown? 7 Lockdown life lessons 

Photo by Haley Powers on Unsplash