From the ashes

Everyone has been talking about the Cape Town fires, but I've had little to say...until now. 

I thought I was okay until seeing the pictures of the charred, hollowed-out Mostert’s Mill. That's when I felt this emptiness.

Pre-COVID, I attended one of the mill’s open days with my family. I wanted my son to experience the awe I felt when visiting this working piece of history as a child. He loved it. When we talked about the fire, he kept saying that the mill couldn't be completely burnt down. Oh, the heartbreak.

But it is more than the destructive fire that saddens me. I think that, like many Capetonians, I have felt deeply affected since we've already lost so much in this pandemic.

Backseat bird watching

We were driving in the car one weekend last year when my then almost-four-year-old was unusually quiet. He was deep in thought about something, staring out the car window. 

“The birds don’t have to wear masks?” my son suddenly asked. He’d been watching the birds flying above, landing on walls and street lights as masked people walked by along the pavements.  

“No, they don’t,” I said. 

“They’re lucky,” he said. 

Shoo, this pandemic has flipped our world upside down. I typed this out months ago and saved it so that I wouldn't forget how a virus could make us question everything. 

Photo by Viktor Keri on Unsplash

P.S. You might enjoy reading The small things are the big things. 

Finding a rhythm for 2021

I quit making resolutions probably about the same time I had a baby. Life becomes rather unpredictable when you have kids and I was done with setting lofty goals that made me feel inadequate rather than empowered.

Over the last few years, I sometimes come up with a word or a phrase for the year that relates to some areas of my life I would like to improve. Last year, my phrase for the year was ‘lighten up.’ It encompassed the ideals of living more joyfully by streamlining mundane tasks, spending more time investing in friendships, having more fun and yes, rather predictably, losing a little weight. And then COVID-19 hit us.  

It was hard to lighten up in 2020 and, since I still feel like I’m learning how to do this, I didn’t want to come up with a phrase or word for the year. But it came to me regardless – rhythm.

Wheat-free chocolate cupcakes

Here’s a surprisingly delicious wheat-free chocolate cupcake recipe (despite being egg- and dairy-free).  

I’m not much of a cook (I don't enjoy it), but I go through phases of baking. There was a year - I think it was 2014 - that I refer to as 'the year of baking.' I was baking bread, biscuits and making up cake recipes. It was lovely. I had no gluten issues back then. 

Living with gluten intolerance is a blessing and curse -  I can't eat cake at kids' parties, but I also can't eat cake at kids' birthday parties. But this mama has a sweet tooth. So, I’ve been tweaking some of wheat-free recipes and, before I forget, I thought I'd save them here. I still feel a little sad about the apple cinnamon oat cake I made once and can’t remember how I did it.

This is a quick and easy oat chocolate muffin recipe I tweaked from Power Hungry. 

It's wheat-, egg- and dairy-free, but the addition of coconut oil or olive oil and a little more sugar make the muffins a little less healthy but mouthwateringly good. 

How to survive lockdown in an apartment with a toddler/preschooler

Being cooped up at home for lockdown is hard, especially when you live in a small apartment with a toddler. Here’s what has been working for my family...

  

I live in a small garden apartment (54sqm/581sqft) with my husband and 3,5 year-old son.

We’re not a perfect family - we fight, our toddler throws loud tantrums, we’re anxious about the future and missing family and friends as much as anyone else. However, we’re finding ways to enjoy lockdown – as crazy as that seems.

Our lockdown process is unfolding, and we have off days, but if one thing we do helps you better navigate living in a small apartment with a family during the COVID-19 pandemic, then that’s awesome. So here goes...

How to work from home with a kid (COVID-19 Lockdown)

Goodbye childcare and hello trying to balance work with homeschooling and housework all while not being able to get out. This is going to be fun.

We’re only 2 days in and if you already feel like you’re losing your mind, here are some tips from someone who has worked from home for seven odd years, three of those with a kid – all in a small apartment.

Start your day early - If you can get up and get some work down before your kid or kids get up, it will be a big help. Even 30 minutes of uninterrupted time will make a huge difference.

Create a flexible work schedule - My husbands and sat down and tried to create a schedule because we have a 3-year-old and he doesn’t entertain himself for long. We realise that we have to be flexible around meetings.

Special time - Schedule in a special time of 10 to 20 minutes alone with each child in which they are allowed to direct the play (but it does have to be fun and safe for both of you).

Giving them this uninterrupted time (no phones allowed) makes it easier to ask them to do this...

Play alone time - Set up a game or invitation to play of some sorts that your child enjoys. Ask your child to play alone for as long as they can or until you call them.

I was told by a parenting expert that a 3-year-old should be able to alone for 45-minutes. Um, what?! My jaw dropped when I was told this because my extroverted child doesn’t seem to like alone time. 

We are working on it by using a reward system. If he plays by himself for more than 20 minutes, he moves up his reward chart. Once he reaches the goal, he gets a toy that I bought long before lockdown. So far, the longest he has played alone is 27 minutes (with playdough and dinosaurs)

This gives you and your partner time to knuckle down and work.

Quiet time - My kid naps occasionally, but we do insist on 20-30-minutes of quiet time. During this time he lies on his bed and looks at books. Thankfully he loves books and the now very overdue library books we took out are gems.

Hopefully, that gives you something to work with for now. 

P.S. you might enjoy reading Into the wild - before lockdown

Into the wild - before lockdown

We don't know what freedom is until it's taken away. 

This was our walk on Tuesday. We're usually avoid hiking because of crime and having a toddler, but we braved it because we wanted to keep physical distance from other people. On that little hike, I said, "After lockdown, we have to do this often, and invite friends so we can walk together." If it weren't for the loaming house arrest, we wouldn't have done this, we would have stuck to the safe and the known, the less wild.

But things are going to get wild. Without us around who knows how the plant and animal life in parks, forests and beaches will flourish.

And thanks to an extreme reduction in road traffic, we are going to benefit from massively reduced air pollution levels (please let someone be studying this). Mother nature is reclaiming herself. She's having a spa day for 21 days. She deserves it. We deserve it. It's the least we can do.

#gratitudeduringlockdown #lockdownsouthafrica #gratitudejournal