How do you find me-time as a mother?

Finding me-time as a mother is hard when you have kids at home, a ton of housework and no set lunch break. But, it's not impossible...

I was chatting to a stay-at-home mom friend the other day and she was saying how relentless her days were and how sometimes it felt a bit meaningless.

Did I gasp and instantly gab on about how meaningful I find motherhood?

Heck no, I just nodded because I get it.

Yes, motherhood is beautiful and it’s such important work, but it’s also hard, exhausting and frustrating. When you have little kids, there are days when you feel like an overlooked personal servant. The only way I can think to counter that is to carve out time for yourself and do something that feels meaningful to you.

So we started talking about how we find “me-time” as stay-at-home moms and what that even looks like, especially during a pandemic.

I’ve heard of the moms who swear by getting up at 5am for self-care, like mediation, chugging down a green smoothie and doing an hour of yoga or running a 10k. I am not one of those moms.

Is it enough to Netflix & chill? 

I’m a natural night owl, but nights are hardly ever a time for creativity – it’s usually a time to clean up while listening to a parenting podcast, realize it’s almost 10pm and I haven’t done anything ‘fun’ and now have no energy other than to watch something on Netflix and then its 11pm and I’m toast. The next day, I’ll repeat this process of unfulfilling “me-time.”

But, every so often, I’ll deliberately carve out time to paint or draw during my son’s TV time. Sometimes I’ll even pick that drawing or painting up again at night, no matter how tired I feel, because I’m just that into it. That’s my best me-time - my mediation.

I’m working on making this a more regular occurrence. In the meantime, I’m also trying to keep drawing materials on hand so I can do a quick sketch here and there. Sometimes that’s at the dinner table, at the park and, if we’re picnicking out in nature, I’ll pull out our kiddies water paint palette and try to paint a scene in my sketchbook while my son is drawing with stick in the sand or trying to catch tadpoles in a stream.  

Making quick little drawings help me see the beauty of the moment without the stress of perfection. 

A few days ago, I was drawing a profile of my son while he was slowly finishing supper. I usually end up making him look so much older, but that evening I relooked at the proportions I had drawn and shortened the chin, and there he was – my little boy on paper (well almost because my portraits aren’t exact). It was a drawing eureka moment for me. I got a little buzz from it, and I don't get that from folding laundry or cleaning the kitchen

Hobbies matter 

I know that some people might think, ‘Oh, that’s a nice little hobby you have there, but it’s not exactly meaningful.’

To that, I say that making art is meaningful because it helps us see the marvellous in the mundane. And even if I’m only making art for me, it’s helping me relax and reconnect with my inner child who loved to draw. It short, it makes me happier and I’m a better mom for it.  

What makes you feel happier and how do you make time for it? I'd love to hear your tips for carving out some much-needed me time as a mother.  

Photo by Jordan on Unsplash

P.S. You might like to read Finding a rhythm for 2021