Stepping off the path

I wanted to write about how I've been finding calm in the midst of this covid pandemic and how it's lead me to embrace my anxiety as a superpower of sorts, but who am I telling? I feel like Shirley Valentine talking to a wall (great movie that), so I'll tell my son, in case he ever reads this.

I wrote about my anxiety during this weird and wonderful time on Instagram. Right now, as a four-year-old, you think Instagram is where mommy goes on her phone to check the weather. 

In case it's no longer, or I delete my account on a whim (I'm like that), here's what I wrote back on 10 October 2020... 

Tiny treasures 

These flowers are so small that, had we not stepped off the path, I would never have spotted them in the grass.

Sometimes, stepping off the path is the best thing, even if you're forced to.

It's what I'm learning during this pandemic - to notice beauty and make the small things the big things. I listened to a talk about happiness that reminded me of what God told me back in early March - focus on the big things. As a key to happiness, Dr Rick Hanson suggested creating 'beneficial experiences' and then making the experiences big, letting them resonate.

That made it click for me, what God was saying all along - the small things are the big things. It's all the good small things that make us happy, but they need to be magnified.

I'm trying because I'm not naturally a happy, easy-going person. I am anxious, analytical, serious, easily overwhelmed by too much sensory information and an introvert - INFJ/upholder. So I read articles on how to be a more fun parent and stop shouting (I'm a shouter), I take too many photos of flowers, landscapes and my kid climbing trees, I plant weeds in my garden because I think they're pretty and why the heck not, and I paint. It's what's keeping me going.

I'm sharing this because it's World Mental Health Day and I want to say 'Hey, it's okay if you're struggling - I'm struggling too.' I think we're all struggling. It's been a heck of a year so far, so do what you need to do. Look after yourself. Find a hobby that you can get lost in, get out into nature, bake a cake, wear your fav outfit (even if you're staying in), put on some lippy, pray, read, watch a good movie, garden, have a roll in the hay and remember that life is still beautiful.

P. S. Check out how small these little orchids are in comparison to my hand.

Good night, I love you.

P.S. You might enjoy reading Are we playing for an audience?