I think I'm suffering from a pandemic brain, but it's going to be okay...I hope.
Hello, remember me?
I unintentionally took a month off blogging. It’s not like I didn’t try - I started blog posts here and there, but I couldn’t finish them. As I explained to my husband, it’s like I wanted to say things and then I didn’t want to say anything.
I haven’t been making much art either – just a drawing here and there. Could this be a creative block?
I listened to Denise Gasser, one of my favourite mom artists, talk about her struggle with brain fog on Instagram and wondered if this was my infliction. I wouldn’t quite describe my mind as foggy, it’s more like a whirl of colours, lights, and sounds – all these ideas that I can hardly see because they are moving so fast.
I’ve been wondering if my addiction to the prettiness of Instagram has been playing a role. Instagram is my escape. I tell myself that it’s inspiring because I follow a lot of artists, but sometimes it feels as though I am filling my mind with the ideas of so many people that I’m struggling to find my own.
Something I read on, yes, Instagram, stopped me mid scroll - "clear thinking = good writing"- Karin Schimke @readingdarling.
Well, that makes sense. My thinking is clear-ish, but only when it comes to what has to be done – what groceries to order, what to cook, and what needs to be cleaned. And then there is the worry - about how is my child coping and if we are safe or not. When it comes to creating, it feels like my thoughts get sucked up into a tornado.
It could be a pandemic brain.
Reportedly, many people are suffering from a kind of cognitive impairment caused by living through prolonged periods of stress and anxiety. Symptoms include short-term memory loss (check), feeling exhausted (check), and struggling to concentrate (check) – amongst others. It sounds hectic, but the good news is that we'll recover, according to most of the articles I have scanned (I don’t have the focus to read). This is temporary (even though we don’t know when it will end).
Is there a cure?
Many of the health experts quoted in articles prescribe things like getting enough exercise and sleep, eating well, seeking novelty, trying to laugh often, getting out into nature, meditating, and expressing gratitude daily. Yes, it’s all the stuff we should have been doing before this pandemic but possibly weren’t because we were too busy scrolling. Maybe that’s something the pandemic could teach us – not to confuse media consumption with self-care.
Right now, the only good habit I’m managing to hold onto is exercise. I think it’s because I have employed the strategy of pairing (an idea I got from happiness expert and author Gretchen Reuben). I listen to music I love while working out and only allowing myself to wash my hair after a workout. Side note: I only wash my hair twice a week, but two workouts are better than none. It also helps that my husband workouts and I feel guilty if I don't join him.
To get through this pandemic brain or whatever it is, I am trying to have grace with myself and make peace with my whirling tornado, even if that means letting it rip a bit. In the words of Demi Lovato - “It’s okay not to be okay.” If there were ever a pandemic theme song, that would be it. I gotta add it to my workout playlist.
What’s helping you get through the pandemic at the moment?
P.S You might like to read Are we playing for an audience?
Photo by Yoann Boyer
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